House on a hill

Once there was a house on top of a hill.

A small house with big windows. Strange was the house that had no doors.

There was a small boy in this house.

He would look out the window and stare at the world.

The smiles and happiness all around, at the happy children who frolicked and fawned, the flowers, the sun, the butterflies and birds.

All just a sight but not to hold on. Strange was the house that had no doors.  

There was a small boy in this house. 

Who found solace in this home. It was dark and muddy with no one around.

He once had friends. Some stayed the spring, some withered the storms. 

They would talk through the window and could not stay long. Strange was the house that had no doors. 

This house was his own. This house is now home. 

With nowhere to go. No place he belonged. He was all alone. 

What makes you think that you will be loved?
What makes you think that you will be cared for?
What makes you think that you will be remembered?

Seasons come and seasons go.. Im still stuck in dark murky past.
Tainted.. broken.. ugly and old.
Discarded.. unwanted.. disfigured and dead.

Do you not love me because I'm grotesque and ugly?
Do you not love me because I'm poor and broke?
Do you not love me because I'm used and old?

Deeper and deeper I'm buried in my dead decaying dreams.
This false ground always caves in.
Is this where I belong? This deep in the cold dark ground?

Secretly falling apart

Is this how normal people feel? So invisible.. So insignificant. Like my life won't matter if it's gone.  

Ages past since I last wrote these words,

2 people lived with this same broken soul. 

Forging ahead I figured I would have a place to rest.

But body is broken, bits and pieces strewn across time. 

Does everyone feel this way?

Is it so hard to find a place to stay?

Is this how it is to feel alive?

Trading dreams and feeling numb? 

Why do people mourn when I'm gone?

When I died ages ago. 

With so much light around me,
why does this darkness matter.
days go by but im still stuck here.
vast emptiness with to respite.
i cant feel myself, lost in these waves of no emotions.
empty thoughts, empty soul.
wish someone would save me.
show me a path to happiness
to fill the void that i have felt all my life.
does no one care?
cant no one see?
what has become of me?

never too late..

its never too late to be happy..
its never too late to call a old freind..
its never too late to help a person..
its never too late to say 'i love you'
its never too late to smile at your sorrows..
its never too late to shed a tear for your faded memories..
its never too late to do what you want..
its never too late to be the person you want to be..
its never too late to ask for help..
its never too late to do a good deed..
its never too late to say 'no' to things..
its never too late to move on and be at peace.

love you z

love

i hear you in my sleep,
you got my head turning round and round,
my world is gone upside down,
butterflies all around,
somwhere in my dreams,
but its only in my sleep that i see.

i can hear you breath,
your arms around my body,
kiss close to my lips,
the time seems to cease,
but its only in my sleep.

all the shadows in my dreams,
all the smiles you smiled at me,
your smell keeps me in a daze,
your warmth against my body.
your love thats all mine.
but its only in my sleep.

Every person has a point in their life where they see the light..
A personal tragedy helped me see my light. This blog is dedicated to two spirted people how dont have a tomorrow yet they still live strong in the memories of all the people they happend to touch. being close to them i heard them dream about tomorrow.. the ideas in thier head that would make them sucessful, their aspirations, aim and goals..

i did not value my life. thought it was disposible. all the troubles around would break most people's soul.. but they found a way to survive and move on, helped me realise what im worth. Its suprising that a single moment is long enough to take away all your dream.. take away your tomorow.

They couldnt see tommorow but put in every effort to make it better. im sure if they knew how it would end he would have tried harder.

i know life is hard.. it treats you like a nobody at times. But this life is worth every pain. It makes you harder for tomorows troubles.. trains you like your best friend. makes you confident to reach for higher goals.. i dont know my tommorw.. but i work hard to make it better.. live my life to the fullest.. cuz today is all you have.. today is all you know. Every time you have a bad day.. please dedicate it to my friends who passed away.. draw strength from yourself to live through. I realised how valuable a single day is.. I have a day today to live, to love the world around me, to see the people who mean everything to me.. There are so many things i want to do.. to tell me parents i love them and will be with them forever.. to love my freinds or smell the flowers.. a day is all i need.

who knows wod will happen after the sunset? today is all you have.

vinay and lateef.. i share all my tomorrows with you. please stay with me.